Kitija Ozolina · Awareness Mentor for Mothers
What to say and do in the moment
For parents of toddlers and preschoolers.
Perhaps it happened over a toy.
Or you said no.
Or the hand came toward your face before you knew what was happening.
Your first job is to stop anyone getting hurt.
You don’t need a perfect speech.
Move the other child, move yourself, or move the object involved.
Use only the physical help needed to keep people safe.
“I won’t let you hit.”
Keep the words short.
“Are you hurt? Let me help.”
You can care for the hurt child while keeping the other child nearby and safe.
“You wanted the truck. You were angry. Hitting hurts.”
You don’t have to choose between understanding the feeling and stopping the behavior.
“You can say, ‘My turn.’”
“You can come and get me.”
Practice when nobody is being hit.
Not only in the middle of the next argument.
They might help fetch a cool cloth.
They might return a toy.
Don’t force a hug as proof that everything is better.
Does hitting often happen around the same toy?
When play gets crowded?
When your child is tired?
Use what you notice to plan closer supervision and earlier help.
If hitting is frequent, causes injuries, is getting worse, or you are struggling to keep people safe, speak with your doctor or another child-health professional.
My parenting manual covers toddler hitting, biting, boundaries, and behavior that does not improve with the usual advice.
With love, Kitija 🤍
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