Kitija Ozolina · Awareness Mentor for Mothers
What to try before you shout
For parents of children roughly three to ten. Adjust the words and help to your child.
You have asked nicely.
Then you have asked again.
Now your voice is getting louder.
“Why do I have to say everything five times?”
Before you ask a sixth time, try changing how the request arrives.
If you can, stop calling from another room.
Get near enough for your child to hear you.
Say their name.
You don’t need to demand eye contact.
You need to check that your words have reached them.
Instead of:
“Get ready. We’re late. Where’s your bag? Why are your shoes still off?”
Try:
“Put your shoes on.”
Give them a moment to begin before adding the next task.
“Stop messing” can mean many things.
“Put the blocks in this box.”
“Walk beside me.”
“Keep the water in the bath.”
“Do you need help starting?”
Perhaps they didn’t understand.
Or the task is difficult.
Or they don’t want to stop playing.
You can find out without giving up the request.
“Will you put your shoes on yourself, or would you like my help?”
Both options should be ones you can accept.
“You put the first shoe on. Now the other one.”
Choose one request.
Go closer.
Use fewer words.
Check whether help is needed.
My parenting manual includes listening, routines, boundaries, and what to consider when the usual advice does not work.
With love, Kitija 🤍
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