Kitija Ozolina · Awareness Mentor for Mothers
The conversation to have before the next argument
“Put it away.”
“In a minute.”
“You said that ten minutes ago.”
Perhaps you know this conversation already.
You don’t want every evening to become a fight about a screen.
But you also don’t want to pretend that phones need no rules.
Try having the conversation when nobody is being told to hand one over.
In our house it is the mornings: all my son sees is his phone, from the moment he opens his eyes to the moment he closes them.
Start with the reason, not just the restriction.
“I want us to make room for school, rest, friends, and time together. Let’s work out how your phone fits around those things.”
Ask what matters to them too.
Listen before deciding the whole plan.
“Use it less” is hard to follow.
Choose details you can both understand.
Talk about:
You don’t have to settle everything in one sitting.
Avoid making up a huge punishment in the middle of an argument.
“If the agreement isn’t working, we’ll review it and decide what needs to change.”
Keep any response clear and reasonable.
“If something online worries you, tell me. I’ll listen before we decide what to do.”
Don’t promise there will never be a restriction.
Promise that you will take their concern seriously.
Write down:
The aim is not to win a fight with a phone.
It is to make the expectations clear while staying involved in your teen’s life.
My parenting manual has chapters on screens, phones, games, spending, online safety, and boundaries.
This conversation is a starting point.
The book helps you look at the parts around it.
With love, Kitija 🤍
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