Kitija Ozolina · Awareness Mentor for Mothers
How to go back without giving up the boundary
Perhaps the argument was about homework.
Or they were late.
Or you asked something three times, and the fourth time you shouted.
Now the house is quiet.
But nothing feels settled.
You can go back.
You don’t need a long speech.
You need to be clear about your part.
Instead of blaming him, I try to understand what actually happened and why I acted the way I did. Then I tell him I was wrong to raise my voice.
If you are still ready to argue, say so.
“I’m too worked up to talk well right now. I’m going to take a break. I’ll come back in twenty minutes.”
Then return when you said you would, or explain if you need longer.
“I shouted at you earlier. That wasn’t okay.”
If you called them a name, say that plainly.
“Calling you lazy was hurtful. I’m sorry.”
Try not to hide it inside “things got heated.”
“I’m sorry I shouted.”
Not:
“I’m sorry I shouted, but you pushed me.”
Their behavior may still need attention.
It does not need to be part of your apology.
They may still be angry.
They may not want to answer.
“You don’t have to be ready to talk. I wanted to take responsibility.”
“The shouting was wrong. We still need a plan for getting home on time. Let’s talk about that after dinner.”
An apology does not cancel a reasonable boundary.
“Next time I notice my voice rising, I’m going to pause before I keep talking.”
Choose something you can actually practice.
Repair is not only the words afterwards. It also means working on what happens next.
In my parenting manual, I cover the ways parents react when they snap, boundaries, and repairing after harm.
If you are afraid you might hurt your child, seek help now rather than relying on another apology.
With love, Kitija 🤍
The book is not on sale yet. You can read a free part of it now.
Read a free part →